


play pretend

by miyatsumu



Series: play date au [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angsty I'm sorry, Established Relationship, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Post-Break Up, Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, Timeskip Haikyuu, play date au, will add more tags as soon as i publish more chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27320932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miyatsumu/pseuds/miyatsumu
Summary: Hinata Shoyo misses being in love. He wants to fall in love, temporarily.It's okay if it doesn't have to be with him this time.or Hinata Shoyo signs up to be a play date to heal his broken heart.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: play date au [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1994608
Comments: 17
Kudos: 40





	1. one

“Hi! I’m Hinata Shoyo, your play date.”

Ah, his most used line. 

It’s surprising for Hinata Shoyo, really. He did not expect to get used to this new lifestyle of his. Not that it changed completely, but simply changing for the better. Just with money involved. 

It so happens that he ends up being involved in it after seeing an online advertisement one day. 

_Feeling lonely? Need a date? Or simply someone to be with?_

_Worry no more, because PLAY DATE has got you covered!_

_PLAY DATE, as defined by Merriam Webster, is an arrangement for children to spend time together and play._

_But our PLAY DATE is also an arrangement between two people to spend time together temporarily. Your PLAY DATE may be your temporary significant other, a plus one, or someone you want to spend your time with, and more!_

_PLAY DATE is famous for its positive reviews with an average of 4.7/5! We guarantee that we provide the best and safe service for our clients. Simply provide us your basic information, age, ideal age and type, and we are good to go!_

_For inquiries, call +801-805-PLAY-DATE now!_

To be frank, Hinata Shoyo just wants to try out their service. 

_Your PLAY DATE may be your_ **_temporary_ ** _significant other…_

But he realizes that if it is just temporary, he might as well make it last. Make it last for a long time. 

If that means Hinata Shoyo will get over _him._

“Hello! This is _play date._ How may I help you?” The lady on the line cheerfully asks. 

Hinata gulps in nervousness. “Uh…” 

“Is this your first time with us? I could help you with that! Are you calling about our _play date_ service?” 

_“I… I don’t love you anymore.”_

Hinata Shoyo just wants to love. 

Hinata Shoyo just wants to be loved. 

“By any chance,” Hinata finally speaks up. “Are you hiring new play dates?”

Hinata Shoyo misses being in love. He wants to fall in love, temporarily. 

It’s okay if it doesn’t have to be with _him_ this time. 


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if you've noticed it from my past works but I write flashbacks in past tense!

There are a lot of things that make Hinata Shoyo wake up frustrated.

It could be the annoying alarm informing that a long day awaits him, a loud (and scary) thunderstorm, his neighbor’s music blaring in the ungodly hours of the morning, or simply the flooding notifications in his phone.

Sure, Shoyo has probably encountered all in his years of existence. It’s no longer a surprise if this happens to him anytime soon. Shoyo believes that he has gotten a good grasp of these hindrances but there’s one thing that he just can’t.

The nightmares. 

As silly as it sounds, it never fails to make Hinata Shoyo more vulnerable than ever. Another reason that he finds these nightmares of his worse is that he has no one to tell him that everything is going to be okay. That truly is more of a nightmare for him. 

It hasn’t been that long since Hinata’s first nightmare experience as far as he remembers. During the first night, he simply brushed it off. Just like that. It’s normal for people to have nightmares, right? 

That’s what he thought. 

Oh boy, Hinata was wrong.  _ So wrong.  _

It got worse. 

These nightmares are frequently occurring to him and it’s starting to affect his life. Hinata notices that these nightmares are engraved on him lately.

To be frank, Hinata has no idea what his nightmares were. He simply remembers waking up in darkness, crying. He ends up crying even more when he’s reminded by the fact that he’s alone. No one to receive cuddles or kisses from. 

This night is different. 

The cold sweat on his forehead has definitely become part of his night routine now. The same goes for his stiff and exhausted figure. The day Hinata stops catching his breath is the day he finds peace. 

Hinata gulps and zones out right after. This time, his bedroom is not blending in with the darkness. He assumes that it is not that lately based on the moonlight peeking through the blinds. 

“Ugh,” he groans and rests his face on his palms. It takes him a couple of minutes to relieve himself from another unfortunate experience once again. Hinata thinks that he will never get used to this. 

The faint light from the window gives Hinata the opportunity to observe his surroundings. Bland would be the best word to describe his room. No photos, nothing personal, it doesn’t really emit the vibe that this is Hinata Shoyo’s bedroom. He doesn’t bother decorating it as this is simply a room for him to sleep in. 

Hinata knows that he shouldn’t do it. He’s well aware that he is going to be faced with disappointment. 

He does it anyway.

Slowly, he turns his head to look at the other side of the queen-sized bed. The lump on his throat is making it harder for him. 

He’s met with nothing. Just a vacant space beside him. 

As expected.

A tear escapes from Hinata’s eye, proceeding to cover his mouth to prevent himself from bawling loudly. Was he expecting him to be there? He knows that he’s all alone, why did he think that it would be different this time?

He lies down immediately and closes his eyes, hoping this will stop eventually. 

* * *

**[4:34 PM] Hi! What time do you finish?**

**[5:51 PM] Sorry just finished practice**

**[5:52 PM] I’ll be home soon**

**[5:54 PM] Okay, what do you want for dinner? Should I cook your fave?**

**[6:00 PM] No need, coach is treating us to dinner**

**[6:05 PM] Have fun and be careful on the way home!**

**[6:00 PM] I love you**

**[6:09 PM] Love you too**

Those were the last texts they sent to each other before they broke up. 

Hinata knows that reading their past conversations is the best idea. However, the last text his former partner had sent him gives him a sense of comfort. And not hope. 

He knows that the text didn’t mean anything more than just a task. They were together for a long time after all. 

_ “I… I don’t love you anymore.”  _

He cries again. 

Hinata misses him so much. 

Hinata remembers every detail from that night. His boyfriend, Kageyama, was finally coming home from his long hours of training. Being in a relationship with a professional athlete was probably not ideal considering the amount of time and dedication Kageyama had been putting in his job. Also, Hinata had his own job. The time that they had would not align most of the time. With Kageyama starting his day early in the morning and arriving at night to sleep. It was like their own apartment was a hotel to Kageyama. 

Hinata didn’t mind though. He was more than happy to simply be with him. Even if that meant that he ended up unintentionally sleeping on the couch while waiting for Kageyama to arrive. 

That night particularly was something he was looking forward to. Hinata secretly booked a cruise trip for their fourth anniversary. It was completely out of luck since the trip happened to be on both of their days off. Despite it being a month away, it was a perfect opportunity to spend their time with each other. 

Hinata hid the tickets inside his neatly folded jacket placed on the bottom pile of his clothes. It wasn’t the safest hiding spot as Kageyama could happen to see it. Fortunately, he didn’t have any idea about the surprise trip. Hinata was planning on revealing it tonight. 

He couldn’t wait to surprise him. An exciting feeling bubbled in his chest as Hinata held onto the tickets softly. He had to work overtime in making this possible.

But why did Hinata end up being the surprised one that night?

“Sorry, I can’t,” Kageyama firmly answered. 

“Wait, why?” Hinata was in shock. “We’ve both been working hard these days. We deserve —”

Kageyama remained unfazed. “I may have training or a match that day.”

“But the V.League season wouldn’t have started by then? No, that’s like what? In a couple of months?” Hinata let out a laugh to make the air bearable. “I even asked your manager about your schedule and —”

“And you’re meddling into my job now?” Kageyama raised his voice.

“What do you mean “meddling”, Tobio?” It was Hinata who asked angrily. “Am I not allowed to celebrate our anniversary together?”

“I don’t think there will be an anniversary to celebrate,” Kageyama spoke. “Shoyo, I want to break up.”

“I’m sorry… what?”

Kageyama repeated. “I want to break up.”

Hinata had to blink a couple of times to comprehend what he had just said. His body was turning weak at the revelation. His chest felt like it was carrying weights. “Are you serious? Why?”

“I,” Kageyama sighed, staring at the mug he was holding. “It hasn’t been the same.”

“I know that! That was mainly the reason why I booked us a trip, to spend  _ more  _ time together!” Hinata sits up from his seat to approach him. The ticket was slowly crumpling due to the consistent clenching of his fist. Then, he got on his knees and held Kageyama’s hands. “Tobio, please.”

“We can still work it out. Please,” he looked into his eyes softly, ignoring the tears welling up in his eyes. “Let’s make up for the lost time. I know things have changed lately and... I love you.” 

It stayed silent for a while and Hinata then caressed Kageyama’s hand and traced his calloused fingers. 

“I’m sorry, Shoyo,” Kageyama broke the touch between them, making Hinata break down. “It’s best if we do this.”

Hinata looked up to him. “How the fuck do you know if it’s the right decision? Are you really letting this end? You’re being selfish here.”

Kageyama was silent. 

He stood up and fixed his shirt in the process. “Tobio, did I do something wrong?”

Silence.

“Tell me, Tobio. Was I too clingy? Was the sex not good enough? Tobio, I  _ love _ you, for how many years now. Where did it all go wrong?” At this point, Hinata was desperate for answers. “If you wanted space, that’s fine. But calling this off is not a good idea especially that you couldn’t give me a proper reason why.” 

He wiped his tears. “Please give us a chance to try again.”

“Shoyo, I,” A sigh came out from Kageyama’s lips. “I… I don’t love you anymore.”

Hinata immediately faced his back to him. He couldn’t bear to not cry in front of him. Tears silently rolled down his cheeks and his mouth was going to bleed at that point if he bit it harder. 

“I loved you, Shoyo. It’s just… it pains me that I couldn't bring myself to love you again and I’m not happy. You deserve someone who sees your worth like I did,” Kageyama said. “I’m sorry.”

A few sniffs came from Hinata before facing him again. He no longer cared if his eyes looked bloodshot to him. Calmly, Hinata asked, “Is there someone else?”

“W-what?” 

“I said,” Hinata slightly raised his voice.  _ “Is there someone else?”  _

“No. I can’t believe you thought of that.” 

“I don’t understand, Tobio,” Hinata shook his head. “Is that it?”

Kageyama broke the eye contact. “I wanted to focus on my career.”

“Was I just a pushover to you? Did you think that breaking up with me would make that career of yours better?!” Hinata angrily asked. However, Kageyama didn’t answer. “Then why?! Why do you have to let go of our relationship that easily?!”

“I fucking know how much volleyball meant to you! I’ve always been supportive of your choices because it makes you happy!” Hinata reminded him. “I know that volleyball is your top priority! I knew what I was getting myself into when we got into a relationship!”

“It just hurts me when… we couldn’t have a stable relationship like other couples. But did I complain? I didn’t, because I love you!” Hinata added. "I supported you all throughout your volleyball career. Was I a distraction for you? I want my boyfriend to pay attention to me sometimes."

“I’m trying, Tobio. I’m fucking trying,” he clenched his fist. “I’m trying my best to save our relationship here. I can’t believe how calm you are doing this after all the years we spent.” 

“Did you even try?”

A tear slipped from Kageyama’s eye. “I did. I tried what I could do, Sho. It’s making me more guilty by pretending.”

Hinata just stared at him in disbelief. How could he not notice it? 

“Okay,” The crumpled tickets were dropped. There was no point in fighting anymore. “If that’s what you want.”

“I’m also selfish here. I didn’t know you were feeling that way. I’m holding you back from so many things, from being happy.” Hinata sadly smiled. It wasn’t his intention to make Kageyama guilty, Hinata was being truthful. 

Kageyama bit his lip and said nothing. 

With the energy he had left, Hinata turned his back to him and went to their shared bedroom. He took his gym bag and stuffed all of his necessities as much as possible. His hands were shaking as he tried to stuff it all in, hoping that his tears wouldn’t wet them. 

On the other hand, Kageyama stood there frozen. Yet, he felt partly relieved and hurt that Hinata understood him. 

He saw Hinata leave the bedroom with a gym bag slinging on his shoulder. Once he arrived by the dining area, Hinata picked up the crumpled tickets on the floor. He placed the other ticket on the table. “I’ll stay in a friend’s place for a while.” 

Kageyama slowly nodded. 

“Tobio,” Hinata called him. “Please think about it while I’m gone. Let me know if you’re still willing to be with me.”

“If you do, show up on the day of the trip, yeah?” Hinata forced a laugh. “I’ll be waiting for you, always have been.” 

“Okay,” Kageyama quietly replied.

Hinata knew that doing it would be a bad idea. But he ended up taking Kageyama’s face with his hands and pulled him closer to him, giving him a kiss on his forehead. “Don’t forget to take your vitamins, okay? And your protein powder is running out so buy yourself one.”

Kageyama wiped his tears and gave him a small smile. “Yes, Shoyo.”

Hinata took it as a sign to leave. “And be happy.” 

Before Hinata opened the door, he looked at their apartment one last time, leaving all the memories and his love behind. Hinata looked at him one last time. “I love you.”

Hinata knew he didn’t feel the same anymore. Instead, he immediately closed the door and left. 

_ I’ll be waiting.  _ He thinks to himself.  _ Please, come back to me.  _

* * *

One month later, Kageyama didn’t show up on their trip. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just some info, hinata didn't play volleyball in high school in this fic! 
> 
> it's been so long since i wrote angst so i apologize if it's not that good :c i tried
> 
> also, the next chapter will be the continuation of hinata's point of view :) again, updates won't be consistent hehe i'm sorry
> 
> OH YEAH i changed the title because the first one seemed too long for me! i hope u guys like it
> 
> thank you for reading this :) i hope you're all well!


	3. three

“I’m so pathetic,” Hinata groans as he walks on a familiar path. That’s probably the tenth time he’s said the infamous line in a span of thirty minutes yet that doesn’t stop him from entering the building. 

It really is pathetic for Hinata Shoyo. How come he has the nerve to show up in front of his past lover after a simple nightmare and reminisce? For someone who has a strong mental grasp, this is contradicting. 

And for him to suddenly visit his ex Kageyama Tobio at almost two in the morning, where is the dignity he’s trying to uphold? Especially when he finally came to a realization that maybe it was for the best that Kageyama didn’t show up on the trip? 

* * *

**_The day of the trip_ **

**[9:06 AM] Hey the trip is today… :)**

**[9:43 AM] Just letting you know Tobio hahaha**

**[10:01 AM] Departure time is in an hour, are you on your way?**

**[10:17 AM] I can help you with your bags bc I know how much stuff you bring when we go on trips! Hahaha**

**[10:55 AM] 5 mins left before we depart**

**[10:55 AM] I guess you’re not gonna show up huh haha**

**[10:56 AM] Happy fourth anniversary :)**

**[10:56 AM] I’ll get the rest of my stuff after a week**

Hinata let out a forced laugh after sending the last message. The grip on his phone was getting tighter by second as if it was going to break any minute now. 

Instead of looking and waiting at his phone, he decided to leave it for a while and took a tour of their supposed room. Hinata was impressed with himself mainly, the size and accommodations were nice. He never got the chance to tell Kageyama that times he had to take overtime shifts to afford this kind of room. 

Kageyama could’ve easily paid for it if he knew. Though Hinata wanted to treat both of them after their hard work. This was a way for Hinata to show his love and appreciation for him. 

And maybe ask Kageyama to spend the rest of his life with him. 

The velvet box was tucked into one of his bags. Hinata knew that dropping the big question wouldn’t be the best timing after Kageyama’s revelation that he didn’t love him anymore. He understood his feelings and just wanted some sort of assurance that maybe there was a chance to fix their relationship. 

But Kageyama didn’t show up. 

Hinata probably can’t drop the question anymore. 

He thought to himself, _did he forget? Maybe it just slipped his mind? Did he oversleep?_

**_Ping!_ **

The notification brought Hinata to his senses. While the cruise hadn’t departed that far from the terminal yet, he didn’t expect a message after being ignored. It was Kageyama.

**[11:08 AM] Have a nice and safe trip**

**[11:09 AM] I’ll be at the dorms by that time so you can get your stuff while I’m gone**

**[11:11 AM] Thank you for the four years, Shoyo**

  
  


“Fuck,” Hinata threw his phone on the bed and proceeded to cry. He had been holding back his tears ever since he woke up that day. His cries were muffled on the pillows, afraid that the other guests might hear him having a meltdown. Hinata didn’t care, really. It was just the fact that he finally faced the realization that Kageyama didn’t want him anymore. 

After four fucking years. 

Hinata felt like he was at fault at this point. Everything was well at the beginning of their relationship. Heck, he even got Kageyama to talk and open up to him comfortably in high school. Hinata was able to show the best of him even outside of volleyball. 

The same case went for Hinata as well. Hinata himself was a sociable person, only for him to be happier when he met Kageyama. People didn’t expect the two of them to get together, let alone the fact that someone like Kageyama Tobio would give attention to someone the opposite of him. People didn’t expect them to last. 

Hinata was one of those people. 

Maybe if they fought for their relationship more. Or that they could’ve communicated clearly that night to address their shortcomings. Maybe Kageyama’s career was eating up too much of his time or Hinata was pouring too much into their relationship. Many couples would’ve broken up due to the lack of time, but Hinata stayed. 

Hinata stayed because he loves him.

He knew how much Kageyama loved volleyball. He knew that he was in the happiest state whenever he played that sport. He knew and supported his choices. He knew that they wouldn’t be like any other normal couple especially when he was playing on a professional level. 

Confusing, really. He couldn’t grasp the fact that all four years was over because one fell out of love. Hinata wanted more than that reason. He was willing to change for him. 

It took Hinata an hour to finally calm himself down. His pillow was wet and his hair was dissolved. Hinata definitely looked horrendous after crying nonstop. 

It had already happened now. Kageyama didn’t show up and Hinata wasn’t wanted anymore. He had no choice if the person he loves didn’t want him anymore. There was an attempt to save the relationship at least.

With that, he might as well _try_ to enjoy this trip, think of it like a trip to heal his broken heart.

  
  


* * *

“Really pathetic,” Hinata says in frustration. 

It’s been almost two months since then. Surprisingly, it was a nice trip. Despite being alone, it wasn’t that bad. Though it could’ve been better if it was with someone but overall it was a nice way to cope with his heartbreak. 

Hinata’s thoughts stop when he arrives at the familiar doorstep. Another _pathetic_ comes out from his mouth as he stares at the door in front of him. 

He takes a deep breath to calm himself down. “He’s probably not here.” 

Right now, Hinata is standing outside their apartment. No, Kageyama Tobio’s apartment. His ex-boyfriend’s apartment.

He knows this is considered trespassing. It’s creepy for an ex to suddenly show up to your doorstep months after breaking it off, right? It’s… awkward.

At this point, Hinata doesn’t care. It’s not like him but he really needs to relieve himself from the nightmares he’s been having lately. He assumes that entering the apartment will make him feel better, hopefully.

“Just one night…” Hinata whispers to himself as he tries to press the passcode. 

_He probably hasn’t changed it, right? Volleyball season is fast approaching so he’s probably in the dorm right now._

Hinata swears he’s getting mentally smacked when he mutters a _yes!_ when the door’s lock beeps and opens. He quickly gets in before he encounters someone or something in the ungodly hours of the morning.

Once he uses his back to close the door, he leans on it for a while. He takes his time to observe the familiar yet so foreign feeling in their place. Nothing much has changed, the furniture’s still the same, but it feels… empty. Kageyama might not have the time to do some furnishing around based on the dust evident on the tables. 

There’s no sign of Kageyama around and that’s Hinata’s cue to head to the bedroom.

“Just one night…” he repeats. “Then I’ll leave the moment I open my eyes.”

His hands are shaking once he’s one step away from the bedroom and Hinata cannot bring himself to open it. Honestly, he doesn’t know what to expect now that he no longer comes home to the same room anymore. He doesn’t realize how this room contains so many memories from their relationship. 

With a deep breath, he slowly twists the doorknob. 

It doesn’t smell like the usual room spray as a courtesy of Hinata. In fact, the room doesn’t smell anything at all. 

But why is Hinata’s heart breaking more at this sight? No matter what, it still _feels_ like home. His safe place with Kageyama. 

“Just one night,” he reminds himself again. Seeing the familiar space again takes him back. Hinata almost forgets his worries as he remembers the memories that they both had. Their first cuddle in their own shared space, the times they made love, their late night talks, their breakfasts in bed, almost everything.

He pulls the covers and lies down on his side of the bed. 

Nothing changed at all considering Kageyama’s hectic schedule. 

Hinata almost fails to notice it. It suddenly feels empty. 

Their photo from one of Kageyama’s matches is not found on the bedside table, the closet looks spacious as ever, and the plant that Hinata has been taking care of (and forgot to take it with him) is gone. The new tiny details are noticeable.

It’s like Kageyama got rid of him completely.

“Maybe this is not a good idea,” he talks to himself as he tries to observe the room once more. Hinata knows that it’s going to be worse if he keeps on noticing such things. He’s just here to sleep, no, to take a nap. He only has a few hours left before it’s time to leave before he crosses paths with him. 

Another breath from Hinata and he closes his eyes.

An idea pops into his head. “Wait, no. It’s embarrassing and weird. No.” 

He checks the cabinets and drawers where the clothes are found. Hinata’s thinking of wearing one of _his_ hoodies. “No. Bad idea, Shoyo.” 

Hinata does it anyway. 

He takes the first hoodie he sees from the closet and quickly wears it, the piece of clothing ending by his thighs. Despite that, Hinata feels calmer when he suddenly smells the fabric. Kageyama. 

Just one night. Then he’ll pretend nothing happened. 

Hinata Shoyo just wants to feel loved and wanted again. Only for tonight.

Hinata imagines Kageyama with the scent. He’d probably done it a lot during the times where Kageyama was training and it would get better when his angelic face in the morning. Hinata misses it. So much. But tonight, he has to deal with this. The first person Hinata Shoyo wants to see probably sees him as the last person he wants to see right now.

Just tonight, Hinata Shoyo wants to relive that moment again. Even if Kageyama is not there. 

He finally closes his eyes and drifts to sleep, pretending that this is just one of the nights during their relationship. For the first time in three months that Hinata Shoyo feels like everything is alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for too much angst :') 
> 
> also! i'm still trying to conceptualize the plot to know how many chapters this fic will have. it's still tentative but it's probably going to be around ten chapters? it's not as long as the first part of the series (wink wink if you haven't read play date it'd mean a lot if you give my bokuaka fic a read! wink wink)


	4. four

Hinata wakes up... in a good mood.

Unlike the previous nights, waking up in the morning has been nothing more but a challenge for him. It always feels that he carries too many weights on his eyelids due to the crying prior. Every night he’s always reminded of his reality and how he’s destined to feel like this, to be alone. 

This time, though, Hinata doesn’t feel any of that thanks to his  _ so-called plan _ to unexpectedly sleep at his ex’s place. What a brilliant idea from a brokenhearted Hinata Shoyo. 

It’s been months since he’s had the last touch of the most comfortable bed. Hinata remembers picking this particular furniture when he went shopping with Kageyama a few years ago. It did take them a while to come up with a final decision because they had to consider their, well, Kageyama’s height. 

Additionally, Hinata realizes how much he misses waking up to the warm lighting from the window, making the whole room more vibrant. He assumes that he prefers it this way as Hinata considers himself as a morning person. There were situations in which Hinata would hear Kageyama groan because the sunlight woke him up.

Having these combined, it’s beautiful. Waking up to this kind of scenery is no longer part of Hinata’s routine. This is tempting him to stay a little longer.

Wait.

_ “Oh god,”  _ Hinata gets up when he realizes it. Quickly, he reaches out for his phone that is resting on the bedside table.

A groan from Hinata when he clearly sees the time after rubbing it constantly. 11:51 AM. 

It’s almost noon. 

What on earth is he still doing here?

A few hours of  _ nice  _ sleep is what Hinata wanted. How come he ended up staying for almost twelve hours? That’s almost half of a day. Yet, Hinata is also one to blame himself for not setting an alarm, claiming that his morning person personality can back him up. That was one hell of a nap then. 

Hinata, with all his might, fixes the bed in the hopes of making it look like it wasn’t used at all. A few pats here and there on the comforters will do the trick to make it look brand new as if it wasn’t intruded a few hours ago.

When he’s satisfied with the bed’s appearance, he sprints to the main room to leave. Hinata looks like he’s all ready to pretend that he did not pull out that stupid idea simply because of the nightmares he’s having. Sure, call him a kid for that, but he feels much better now and that’s what matters.

Hinata’s eyes are trained on the door like it’s the finish line. One pull and he’s good to go. He’s safe.

Well, that’s what Hinata thinks.

_ “Hinata.”  _

The voice sends shivers to his spine. His feet are glued on the floor in surprise. He literally doesn’t have a choice to deny or to think that he’s hallucinating. He knows that voice.

He repeats it. “Hinata.”

Ah, back to formalities. That’s the first thing Hinata Shoyo notices. And not the pounding of his chest and the sweating of his palms. “Kageyama.”

They look at each other for a while. Kageyama hasn’t changed a bit. The neatly gelled hair and clean-shaven face are proof. Afraid of the possibility of being stabbed by Kageyama’s hard stare, Hinata breaks the eye contact first. 

The tension is making it awkward. Kageyama looks like he’s actually anticipating for him to come out of the room. 

“Look, I just,” A scratch on Hinata’s head, completely blank because of the sudden surprise. “I’ll head out.” 

“You’re wearing my hoodie.”

Another pang of awkwardness hits him. He’s too focused on getting out of here that he forgot about the stupid idea of wearing his clothing a few hours ago. In response, Hinata closes his eyes in embarrassment. It’s making the air more intense. 

Hinata’s fingers reach out for the end of the hoodie and lifts it. Kageyama has the bigger frame and it takes a while for Hinata to take the hoodie off completely. 

“Here,” Instead of giving it to him directly, he places the neatly folded hoodie on the couch. “Look, I know it’s stupid but —”

“Come eat breakfast,” Kageyama cuts him off. 

Hinata looks at the table occupied with breakfast. Two plates. Good for two.

Does Kageyama already know? As far as Hinata remembers, he was all alone last night. Or Kageyama must have arrived this morning. Why did Hinata hope that he wouldn’t get caught if he woke up at noon anyway?

Hinata sighs.

“I cooked. At least have a meal before you, uh, go,” Kageyama stares at the table after. 

Hinata’s rapid pounding returns. Usually, it was Hinata who cooks and prepares breakfast after Kageyama finishes his morning run. 

He goes for it without protest. 

They’re at the dining area again a few months after the breakup. Not to mention, this was also the place where they last saw each other as a couple. Where Hinata wanted to surprise him. 

Hinata does his greetings and takes a bite. All he wants to do is to finish this and get this over with. Every second with him is making it unbearable to breathe. 

“Why are you here?” Kageyama speaks up after minutes of silence.

Think, Hinata. “Well, I-I was in the area for work,” Hinata fakes out a laugh. “Overtime so I decided to...”

He stops when he notices that Kageyama is not buying it. “Okay, I lied. I’m sorry. I just… I don’t have a proper reason why I’m here. Lately, I haven’t been sleeping—”

“Nightmares again?”

“I… yes,” Hinata looks down and takes another spoonful. “I’m sorry for the intrusion. I thought that maybe sleeping in the room would help me calm a bit. I’m sorry.”

Kageyama nods in understanding. “I figured. I assume that you slept well, then?”

_ It could’ve been better if you were there, too. _

“Y-yeah, I guess…” Hinata gives him a weak smile. “It must be a surprise to suddenly see someone sleeping on your bed.”

“Well, it was your bed too,” Kageyama quietly chuckles. Sounds forced. “You chose that bed for us.”

Hinata doesn’t reply after that. His grip on the bowl is getting harder as an attempt to refrain himself from breaking down. Is it necessary to bring up the past after not seeing each other for months?

“You really took your time, I believe,” Kageyama says, probably referring to Hinata’s habit of waking up early. 

“In my defense, it was around two in the morning when I arrived.”

“Oh?” he replies with such interest. “I didn’t know you arrived that late. I arrived about an hour after you.”

Kageyama adds. "I come by here from time to time to take care of the place."

“Wait, you’re telling me that you knew I was here since you arrived? And you didn’t kick me out?”

Kageyama nods at him. “To be honest, I was surprised when I saw you in the bedroom. But I was too tired and sleepy to deal with it.”

Hinata raises his brows at the information. If Kageyama was too tired, then…

“Don’t worry, I slept on the couch.”

_ Oh. _

“I’m sorry I caused you inconvenience.” 

Kageyama brushes it off quickly. Another round of silence passes. 

“Uh, how are you?”  _ Is it appropriate to ask something now?  _ Hinata thinks to himself. But he simply wants to know. 

“I’m good,” he responds firmly. “Same stuff but I learned to pick up new skills.’

“I learned how to cook,” Kageyama follows a laugh and refers to the meal that he prepared today. “I’m getting sick at the team’s meal plan and convenience store food.”

Right, Kageyama doesn’t know how to cook. Or is not the best at cooking. 

Deep inside, Hinata’s walls crumble when he thinks that Kageyama hasn’t been eating well since he’s not there to cook for him. He wonders if Kageyama ever cut or burnt himself while trying to cook. He hopes he hasn’t.

He doesn’t love him anymore. Why is he thinking about him?

“How about you? How are things going for you?” his train of thoughts are interrupted.

How about him? How are things going for Hinata?

The first things that come to mind are that he is obviously not taking the breakup well, he’s having nightmares again, he can’t say he’s happy right now, and most importantly, he misses him. So much. 

“Uh, just fine,” Hinata forces out a laugh as a way to cover the lump in his throat. 

_ I miss you.  _

“I’m trying new things as well!” he tries to maintain his cheerful side to him. On the other hand, Kageyama listens closely.

_ I love you. _

“Um, I started playing games, b—baking, and…”

_ Where did it all go wrong? _

“Some stuff! Haha!” Hinata exaggeratedly laughs. His vision is slowly getting worse with the tears building up in his eyes. 

_ Play pretend.  _

Before his tears can escape, he excuses himself. “Sorry, I’ll use the bathroom real quick.”

Kageyama doesn’t say anything and Hinata takes it as a yes. 

He rushes to the bathroom and shuts the door. Hinata really doesn’t need to use the bathroom, but with his heart crushing and tears almost falling, he doesn’t want Kageyama to think that his words are the opposite of his emotions.

Again, it was a bad idea to come here in the first place. Hinata knows the chances of bumping into him but he doesn’t expect it to be that soon. He thought that he’s okay and that he’s handling himself just fine. 

But seeing the person he loves dearly for years, his attempts to move on from him are back to square one. Hinata thought that he was better than this. 

Kageyama Tobio is his weakness. 

Hinata does a couple of breathing exercises to calm himself down. He thinks about happy thoughts that don’t include  _ that  _ person. Ignoring the fact that most of his happy thoughts are with and about him. 

He finishes before it gets suspicious for Kageyama. Hinata straightens his wrinkled shirt, embarrassed that he saw him like that, and washes his face. He smiled in front of the mirror so that he could feel a little bit better. 

When he heads back to the dining room, Kageyama quickly turns his head in his direction.

“Thanks for the meal, Tobi— _Kageyama._ I’m sorry but I’ll have to head out!” Hinata forces himself to smile and tries to make up another excuse. “I have important matters to attend. I’m sorry for intruding again!”

Hinata doesn’t wait for any reply and reaches to the door.

“Do you want a ride?” 

He instantly declines it. “No need!”

“Okay,” Kageyama says before Hinata leaves quickly. “If you’re having nightmares again, you can go sleep here if it helps.”

Hinata is surprised, facing him again in confusion. “W—well, I’m in the dorms most of the time. I probably won’t be here. Today’s just a coincidence.”

Right. 

“I know,” Hinata silently huffs. With Kageyama’s field of work taking up his time, he definitely knows. “You’re always gone. I’m used to it.”

Lies. He’s not used to it. Now that they’ve broken up, Hinata has to constantly acknowledge the fact that Kageyama doesn’t love him anymore. But a part of him wishes that Kageyama would magically, or even a chance as small as a speck of dust, that he will come back. 

“I’m sorry, Hinata. For everything.” Kageyama says and Hinata closes the door before he feels worse. 

Once he’s far enough from his place, Hinata puts his hand on his mouth and cries. How come it still hurts even months have passed?

He hates it. Hinata hates it so much. He hates feeling like this.

As much as he tries to deny it, Hinata still loves Kageyama so much. 

Hinata hates it that even if Kageyama is sorry for falling out of love, he’s still willing to forgive him. He’s still willing to accept him again in his life. He hates that he still loves him so much that he wants to beg Kageyama to love him again— even if it’s just pretend.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! the next chapter will hopefully be up by next week. i'm sorry for the long wait because uni is killing me rn omg


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